On Love

Love

Day 33 #DailyWritingChallenge

I have spent 33 years being enveloped by love. Being in lockdown has helped me pause and reflect on how blessed I am to love and be loved. It will not be news to anyone who knows me that I am a hopeless romantic and a sentimental person so do bear with me for this blog post.

My family

My family aren’t really the type to say ‘I love you’ but our actions really do speak louder than words. Every phone call, FaceTime, Whatsapp message asking me how I am, how work is going, if I’ve eaten, what I’ve eaten and when I’m coming round to eat at theirs (not during lockdown obviously) to list some conversations, highlights their love.

My friends

I have also spent my life surrounded by wonderful friends with whom I am able to laugh without any worries, cry without any inhibitions and share my innermost feelings without fear of rejection. They know far too much about me and still accept me for who I am but aren’t afraid to challenge me and push me to be better when I don’t make the right choices. They have shared my life experiences and I have shared theirs.

My subject

Being a teacher is all I’ve ever wanted to do. I fell in love with the idea as a 10 year old watching my eldest sister pursue her career as a nursery nurse. I always thought I would be a primary school teacher like my sisters but my love of books and my English degree led me to become an English teacher. I was also inspired by my Year 11 English teacher, Mrs Ahearn, who would listen to my ideas and would indulge my wild interpretations (while also letting me down gently when my interpretations were beyond legitimacy). While Mrs Ahearn lit the fire, my A-Level English teacher, Noel Hall, kept it going. 

At a time when I was beginning to explore my identity and read more challenging books, he taught us Shakespeare and introduced us to Sassoon, Hughes and Pat Barker (this is where my lifelong obsession with her writing began). Noel would use literature as a springboard to discuss wider issues he knew we would connect with: identity, politics, gender, class, representation.  It is these two brilliant teachers who started my love affair with my subject and to this day, every time I read or teach any text but especially Shakespeare, I remember and try to emulate them.

So much of my identity is defined by my love of teaching. This path I have chosen as my vocation sometimes feels like too much fun to be a job. I know that might sound like I have no social life outside of work but I am unafraid to say I love it. I love seeing the faces of my students when they understand a concept or succeed in something they have previously found difficult. I love hearing them discuss characters or themes they have encountered in the books I’ve taught. I love how eager and excited they are when they’re in Year 7 navigating their new school experience. I love watching them grow into the best humans ready to take on the world when they leave in Year 11. I love seeing their success manifest itself in their personal and academic achievements. 

What I also enjoy about teaching is watching other teachers grow too. What a great job I have to be able to support others to become the best they can and to help them realise the brilliance they have within themselves.

Final thought

What must come first though is the ability to love ourselves. The poem below written by the great Derek Walcott encapsulates this perfectly. 

Love After Love

The time will come

when, with elation

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror

and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life.

#DailyWritingChallenge