On Respect
- Yamina Bibi
- May 5, 2020
- 2 min read
Day 37: 5/05/2020
As a child, my parents explicitly taught us about respect and how to show respect to one another. I grew up in a huge family, with different personalities so it was an important part of managing our relationships. Our respect was evident in every aspect of the way we communicated, including how we addressed each other. It is common in Bangladeshi families to address elders not by their names but instead by an alternative name/ title of sorts. So, my younger siblings call me Yals which is short for Yalafa which was originally Lalafa (red sister- there is no logic to this name but it is a common name used by many Sylheti families). Even in addressing others, the pronoun ‘you’ is different, a bit like the use of thee and thou in Shakespearean texts, to demonstrate the characters’ status and the respect one has for them.
My parents also explained to us that our choice of language and behaviour signified the level of respect we had for ourselves and others and was not just determined by one’s age, status or title. To show respect also included listening to others attentively and responding with kindness and warmth.
What I have realised writing this blog is that this set of values my family instilled in me has contributed to my professional identity. As a teacher and leader, I believe that it is important to show respect in the way I address my students and colleagues, in the way I listen to their ideas, and in the way I respond to them. By modelling respect in this way, I hope to develop relationships built on mutual respect. This level of respect, I think, makes it slightly easier to have conversations about one’s work, particularly those that may be deemed ‘difficult.’ When students and colleagues know that you respect them, they are more likely to take into account your feedback and ideas. It’s just what I have found anyway.
Respect cannot be used like handbag that we pick up and put down whenever we need it to control and manage relationships. Respect in any relationship, especially in work environments must be consistent and built over time. Like Hannah Wilson said in her blog about respect this morning, we must give respect to get it back.
I say this because I have heard about leaders who will refuse to acknowledge colleagues in the corridor ( I know that this is not always easy for those who may identify as an introvert) or may address people in an unkind manner yet are offended when others do the same. What I have learned is that our titles do not signify the level of respect we deserve; our job titles just tell us about the role we have in our workplaces. These roles may be leadership roles, teaching roles or support staff roles but they are just roles. They tell us about the responsibilities we have and not the respect we deserve.
For me, in order to earn and maintain respect, I must live and embody values that my family taught me and model excellence in everything I do, and that includes in how I respect myself and others around me.
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