The Power of Coaching: achieving the unimaginable

When Bukky Yusuf started coaching me a couple of years ago, I had a lack of confidence, a lack of understanding of my strengths and a loud internal inner critic.

I was lost within myself and couldn’t see what others spoke about when they said positive things about me. The imposter syndrome was very real as I believed I was not competent enough to be in the role of Lead Practitioner. This fear would show up when I presented in staff briefings or whole school CPD sessions. I would tremble, sweat and struggle to get my words out even when I knew exactly what I wanted to say. Many times I would be self deprecating by talking about my height to get a laugh as that made me feel a little at ease. And then, after any presentation, I would feel such a sense of shame despite my colleagues saying that I looked and sounded confident. There was nothing anybody could say to me that made me believe this was true.

Until I met Bukky that is. Through goal setting and future pacing, I was able to identify what I would look, sound and feel like as a more confident speaker. I was able to imagine the unimaginable. I was able to see that what I really wanted and needed, was to limit the influence of fear so that I could see my strengths and not just my failures.

Through Bukky’s attentive listening and provoking questions, I was able to identify my triggers and tendencies as a starting point. I was also able to set myself small weekly actions to help build my confidence; as I knew Bukky would ask me about them the following week, I would make sure I actioned them. Bukky’s coaching challenged me to see myself in a different light, a brighter light.

Through coaching, I finally saw myself. I saw my strengths, not just my failures. I also had practical ways of dealing with fear and the imposter syndrome when it tried to engulf me. I mean I would be lying if I said coaching had muted the inner critic completely but I now had ways of defending myself against it. Through goal setting, I was able to imagine myself in this utopian world and the coaching conversations worked towards making it happen because Bukky told me I’m gold dust.

Now when I speak in public, whether at work or educational events, despite feeling like an incompetent imposter all the time, through coaching, I have learned to limit its influence on me. As a result of coaching, I have a repertoire of strategies that I use to quieten that internal critic and it’s an exhilarating feeling.

What’s next?

Over the last four months, I have also been lucky enough to be coached by Hannah Wilson through the Resilient Leaders Elements (RLE) programme. Through Hannah’s one-to-one and group coaching using the RLE tools, I have been able to identify specific strengths and areas of development linked to my personal and professional identity and leadership. Through Hannah’s coaching, I have come to the realisation that I am definitely my own worst critic and my family, friends, peers and leaders perceive me in an entirely different way.

RLE coaching has given me challenges (in the form of tasks) to complete to help me work on the skills highlighted as my areas of development such as robust decision making. Through it, I have learned to pause, reflect and ‘check my bias for action.’ The coaching has helped me to understand myself, my thoughts and feelings, and to dissect challenging situations. It’s motivated me to achieve my goals in meaningful ways that are true to my values.

I have also really enjoyed the group coaching aspect of the RLE programme. As part of this coaching, a group of phenomenal women meet regularly to reflect on the challenges we have completed and the impact it was having on our sense of self and our leadership too. I have been so inspired every time that I really don’t want it to end.

So I have decided to become an accredited RLE coach myself to keep the momentum going! It’s a way of continuing the use of the fantastic RLE tools but also helping others through coaching. What more could a girl want?

This is the power of coaching. To dream big. To build confidence. To see the brilliance within one self. To imagine and achieve the unimaginable.